Bittersweet
by Caleigho
Summary: Seto and Mokuba have a conversation on Mokuba's wedding day.


Bittersweet

Seto put a palm to his forehead, and threaded his fingers over the tense muscles in the back of his neck. His head was starting to throb from impatience, and his patience was dangerously frayed as it was. He tugged at the sleeves of his tux, frowning at the stiff, alien feel of the cloth, and inwardly sighed. He hated the tux, but since he was the best man at Mokuba's wedding, he could hardly prance down the aisle wearing his usual trench coat. Seto grimaced, folded his arms, and scowled once more, when he looked at the time.

Seto's scowl deepened when he saw the tremble in Mokuba's fingers, as the younger Kaiba made yet another fumbling attempt to set the satin around his neck into some semblance of order. When Mokuba nearly yanked it free in frustration, Seto abruptly snarled, "Be careful with that! That was our father's."

Mokuba flinched as if he had been hit, but he didn't attempt to hide his seething glare as he tugged at the tie again.

"Stop screaming at me! I'm already nervous enough without you biting my head off!" Mokuba snapped back, but his hands stilled at his throat, and he glared down at the tie as if it were a noose.

Seto arched an eyebrow, and gave Mokuba a pointed glance. "Excuse me? Who is biting whose head off here, Mokuba?"

Mokuba's lips thinned into a line, and he clenched his jaw without answering.

Seto sighed again, and Mokuba saw the minute softening as he shook his head. "Here. Let me do it."

Mokuba raised his chin, and stood still, letting Seto take the dark blue cloth in his fingers. Looking into Mokuba's eyes, he paused to gently brush the mop of black hair away from his collar, before sliding the tie back into place. Seto grimaced at the length of the strands, but managed to work his frown into a passably neutral expression….for him.

The years had changed Mokuba, of course. The younger Kaiba had shot up a few feet in height, nearly matching Seto's towering frame, though he lacked Seto's slender grace and freakish metabolism. Mokuba's face had lost its baby roundness, giving way to his high, sharp cheek bones, and the angular features that he shared with Seto. But no matter how much Seto harped at his younger brother, Mokuba had refused to part with his long black curls.

Seto shook his head, ruefully. The hatred of he had towards Mokuba's long hair wasn't helped when his beloved fiancé, Elena, had cooed out that she 'loved his long hair, like she loved everything else about him, and he didn't have to cut his hair at all!'

Elena was either an enigma, or an annoyance, depending on how charitable Seto was feeling at the time. She was happy, high spirited, a bit vapid, and in Seto's opinion, annoying as hell.

Mokuba had fallen hopelessly, senselessly in love with her. And, from every interaction between the two, Seto had drawn the reluctant conclusion that Elena loved Mokuba. And, so, gradually as drifting snow, she became part of Mokuba's world, and by proxy, Seto's. Mokuba had started inviting her to the holiday gatherings that he insisted Seto observe. She started hanging around Mokuba at the mansion, or Mokuba would spend most of his free time with her. Seto wasn't sure what to think of her, really. At first, he was leery of her being a gold-digger. Unfortunately, both Kaibas had endured the embarrassment of fending off women who were attracted by the riches of the Kaiba fortune. It was hard for Seto to get past his own suspicions, let alone trust Mokuba's life and heart with a stranger. It was even harder for Seto to wrap his head around the fact that Elena was going to be his sister in law.

Seto remembered the day that Mokuba had asked Elena to marry him. He had a feeling of dread, and dull resignation when he saw their sickening, obliviously beaming faces, matched by the bright sparkle of the diamond on her finger, and the love in Mokuba's eyes. He remembered vaguely, Mokuba's words of "love of my life, marriage," and the worst, "I want you to be my best man, big brother."

Seto was secretly honored, and agreed, of course. The months between the engagement and the wedding had been hectic. Seto had kindly offered to allow the nuptials to take place at the mansion, an offer that was gladly accepted by Mokuba and Elena. Seto had swallowed back more than one snide remark when he saw Elena flit around and fuss about the flowers, and the colors, and the décor of the place, and he got a migraine listening to her prattle on about the tedious details of a ceremony that was only, (hopefully) a one time event. If she wasn't in a snit about planning the wedding, she was flashing her diamond ring at Seto, and either ooing and cooing over how wonderful Mokuba made her feel, or how happy she was to have Seto as a brother. Not a brother in law…a brother, as she abruptly flung her arms around Seto's neck, and embraced him. Startled, Seto managed to stiffly pat her back, and awkwardly congratulated her on becoming a Kaiba. Mercifully, Elena didn't take his stiff reserve personally. She liked Seto, anyway. And it was for that reason alone that Seto had finally warmed a bit to the idea of having a sister in law.

And, here the Kaiba brothers, were, on Mokuba's wedding day. After nearly a year of hearing how a marriage to Elena was going to be like heaven on earth, Seto couldn't fathom what was making Mokuba so damn nervous. It made no sense to see Mokuba cowering like a startled animal, in the last hour before he said his vows.

"Mokuba, it would be in very bad taste for you to be late at your own wedding. We need to get moving."

Mokuba grimaced as he raised his shaking fingers to the tie around his neck. "I think I need a moment, Seto." Mokuba swallowed hard, and looked more like he was facing a firing squad instead of getting married. Seto's hands lingered on Mokuba's shoulders, his mouth twisting upward into a smirk.

"Now is not the time to have second thoughts, Mokuba."

Mokuba shook his head, and Seto felt the tremble again. Mokuba's storm-dark eyes widened, as he suddenly lurched away, with a yelped out, "I'm going to be sick!"

Seto startled as Mokuba quickly snatched up the trashcan, and violently retched, and heaved with a grunt ,just in time to spare his suit. It was so abrupt and unexpected, that Seto stood bewildered for a few moments, until the sound of his brother's distress propelled him into instinctive, protective felt Seto's strong grip as he guided him to the seat, the trashcan shoved into his lap, just in case. Mokuba shuddered and heaved again, shutting his eyes as he tried to breathe. His face contorted at the horrible stench and taste of the bile still burning at the back of his throat. He shook his head with a grimace, and shoved the can away, his hands rising and scrubbing over his now sweating, red face. He felt terrible, and assumed he didn't look any better.

During this time, Seto had reappeared, warily holding out a cup of water, the tight look of distaste on his brother's making the situation even more humiliating for Mokuba.

"Are you physically ill, or is this just an attack of nerves?" Seto raised a peeved eyebrow.

Mokuba just shook his head, his face buried in his hands. Seto noted the tremble, and the rigid way that Mokuba was holding himself. And for the very first time in his life, Seto honestly did not know what to say.

"So, it's nerves, then." Seto ventured, puzzled.

Mokuba jerked his head up, and snarled out, "Yes, Seto. It's nerves. _Nerves,_ okay?! I'm sorry if this is not the time to have them, but I'm about to get married and the thought of that is really scaring the hell out of me right now!"

Seto sighed, uneasily folded his arms, and lowered himself next to Mokuba. Mokuba ignored him, and they both sat together in that horrible, awkward silence.

Finally, Seto spoke, cautiously, "Are you having second thoughts?"

"No!" Mokuba spluttered, "I love her, Seto! I love her so much, and I want to spend my life with her! How could you even think that I'd-"

"Because you just vomited in a trash can, and now you're screaming at me. Those aren't exactly the actions of a man who's certain that he's making the right choice here." Seto interjected, his eyes narrowed, and considering.

Mokuba shot up from his seat, outraged by even the hint that he had nothing but undying, unflinching love for the future Mrs. Kaiba, who was probably already at the ceremony.

"So, you think that me marrying Elena is a mistake?!" Mokuba shouted. "Who the _hell_ do you think you are, Seto, trying to decide for me who I'll be spending my life with?!"

Seto hid the flicker of hurt under a well-practiced façade of calm. "I'm your older brother, and I practically raised you. Did you forget about that detail?"

Mokuba breathed out, calmer now. "I know all that you've done for me over the years, and I'm grateful. I owe you more than I can ever repay you…but, Seto…." Mokuba paused, "I'm an adult now. I love you, and respect you. You know that. But you don't have the right to make my choices for me anymore. I hope that you can respect my choice in this."

"Contrary to what you may think, Mokuba, I know that you're a capable adult, and I _do_ respect your choices. What I don't understand is how you somehow twisted your own doubts about marrying into an attack on _me."_ Seto said, curtly.

Mokuba paled, then, so much that Seto dove down to retrieve the trashcan.

"You're right." Mokuba said, softly. "You're right, Seto. I'm sorry." Mokuba shoved his palms against his eyes, and for a moment, Seto saw a glimpse of the lost child that his brother once was.

Seto shrugged, waving the apology away. "Never mind about that, now. Tell me what's really going on here. If you love Elena so much, and you're dead-set on marrying her, explain to me why you're snapping at me and vomiting."

Mokuba curled his fingers together into fists,that he balled up and shoved against his ribs. It was the same gesture he used to make when he was confessing something painful as a child, and Seto had recognized it.

"I'm scared that I'm going to fail her." Mokuba pushed the words out between his clenched teeth, "I'm scared that I won't be the husband that she deserves. I mean, look at the track record we've had as a family, Seto. Our own dad died before I really knew him, and Gozoboro was a horrible, horrible example. I don't have any idea how the heck this works. I have no idea if I _can_ do this. What if I screw this up? How can I put Elena through that? What if asking her to marry me was a mistake after all?"

Seto smiled, and shook his head. "And what if you are?"

Mokuba stared at him, dismayed, as Seto chuckled, a soft, oddly gentle laugh. "So, it's not your _love_ that you're doubting, but your ability to love her the way you think she deserves. There's a big difference, little brother."

"But I love her." Mokuba murmured, before turning to Seto, worriedly. "If I love her, isn't that enough?"

Seto shook his head. "I don't have the answer for that. It's not my question to answer anyway. You know…it's ironic that you're asking yourself some of the same questions that I grappled with when I decided to adopt _you."_ Seto gave Mokuba a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

Mokuba looked at him, then, his eyes huge and bewildered, looking even more like the baby brother that Seto once knew.

"What do you mean?"

Seto allowed himself a sad, understanding smirk. "I was scared that I wasn't going to be the brother that you deserve. I was _very_ aware of the horrible track record we've had as a family. I didn't know how the heck being a big brother worked, and let me reassure you, Mokuba. I had no idea if I _could_ raise you. I was constantly worried that I was going to screw you up, and I was worried about putting you through that. And do you know what happened, in spite of everything?" 

Mokuba raised an eyebrow, and shook his head.

Seto put a hand on Mokuba's shoulder, and squeezed, reassuringly. "It worked out."

"Look. I won't pretend to have all the answers, and I can't promise you that everything in life will go according to plan. What I can tell you, though, is that it's worth the risk. You were worth the risk, little brother. And…." Seto gave Mokuba a pointed look. "So is _she."_

Seto rose, and gestured towards the waiting chapel. "Come on, Mokuba. Go, get married, and have a great life. She's waiting for you."

Mokuba grinned, as he shot to his feet, the joy returning when he thought of Elena. He paused, for a brief moment, and looked back at Seto.

"Thanks, big brother. For everything."

Seto gave him a genuine smile.


End file.
